Today We Are Making Vegetarian Mexican Casserole

Dementia Cruises And A 90th Birthday Request

Should Grandma Attend The Wedding?

I'm An Expert Fibber!

Be sure to read our new blog.
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Shoe Therapy--Seriously!!!

Please read our latest blog.
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Missing the Beauty

We invite you to read our new blog.
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

HELP! MOMMA HAS ON 3 SHIRTS!

Please listen to our latest dementia Podcast.
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/new-podcast-1/

Listen to our new Podcast!

http://seniorlifejourneys.com/new-podcast-1/

Dementia and "Nesting"

http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Check this out!

http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Nurturing Therapy

Listen to our podcast!
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/new-podcast-1/

Dementia: Prescription to Smile!

Don't miss this week's blog!
http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Regular or Old Timer's Dementia?

http://seniorlifejourneys.com/senior-life-journeys-blog/

Don't miss this wek's blog! Dementia and Relaxation

Dementia and Relaxation

February 25, 2016

Life can be a challenge.  Curve balls are thrown our way, and we are caught off guard.  Routines are interrupted, and we revolt.  Expectations are not met, and we feel disappointed.  STRESS! UGH!
I have experienced more than my share of stress in the last few weeks.  It has not been fun, and it has not been easy.  Much of it has caused me to stop.  I've had to stop and think and ponder and evaluate.  Then I had to stop and REST!
Stress eats at our body and mind and spirit.  It can destroy us, or it can be a motivator to initiate change.  I had an individual I highly respect advise that I needed to "find myself, again" and stop letting the stresses of life destroy me.  I've thought a lot about that, and I have decided this person was absolutely correct.

That's when I re-discovered the joy of relaxation.  I love to pile up on the sofa with my flannel blanket Momma made, my dachshund (that's her in the picture) stretched out beside me, and Netflix on the television.  If there is a mug of hot coffee on the side table, then life is even more pleasant.  I watch television until my eyes are heavy, and then I try to nap.  (Try - because you know the phone is going to ring or the dryer buzzes or the dog barks.)  Relaxation is a good thing.
Think about how stressful life is for our loved ones with dementia.  They realize, as my Grandma Carpenter who had Alzheimer's use to say, "Something just isn't right."  She did not know what that "something" was, but she knew life was off kilter.  So do our loved ones.  They know they have a problem, they want to fix the problem, and they are trying so hard to cover mistakes.  All this causes them to be tired.  Relaxation is very important.
Offer your loved one a time to relax.  Maybe they would enjoy a massage, or a meal out, or even a shopping excursion.  Maybe they want to help you cook or fold laundry like they did years ago.  Maybe they would like to sit down with you and color a beautiful picture in an adult coloring book (don't insult them with childish coloring books).  Maybe a game of cards will bring about much needed release from the struggles going on in their brain.  Maybe you need to sing to them.  Whatever brings your loved one release from stress, please offer it to them regularly.
Whatever form relaxation takes for you, make it a point to practice it.  As you can see from the picture, Zoe has it all figured out!
Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

VALENTINE SNOWMAN TREE UPDATE - As you can see from the picture, the Valentine Snowman Tree is now celebrating St. Patty's Day.  My sister called Momma and asked what she was new in her world.  Momma said, "My man has turned green."  As a matter of explanation, Momma has a male friend in her community that she spends time with, so my sister assumed Momma was talking about him.  My sister said, "What is wrong with him?  Why did he turn green?"  Momma said, "He is the prettiest shade of green!"  My sister became quite concerned until she finally figured out Momma was talking about the snowman!!

Sometimes, You've Just Got To Laugh

0 Likes Comment

Dementia and Snowmen??

Momma is my heart.  She loves me like only a mother can, and she makes me smile.  Well, most of the time.  Truth is, she makes me scratch my head many days, but we will talk about that another day.

 

Christmas this year was made extra special for Momma by the addition of her very own snowman in her living room.  He was decorated with a top hat, red scarf, and mittens.  When we began discussing removing the snowman with the other Christmas decorations, Momma wasn't so happy.  "But I like sitting here looking at him.  Don't take him down."  And you know the saying, "What Momma wants....Momma gets."  Thus began the thought process for making the snowman into something we could keep year round.

A trip to the dollar store, $20 bucks spent, and we had enough decorations to make a Mardi Gras Snowman, Valentine's Day Snowman, St. Patty's Day Snowman, and an Easter Snowman.  As you can see from the picture, our Valentine's Day Snowman turned out quite well.

What's the point in all this?  I have many goals in life.  The Westminster Catechism teaches us the chief purpose of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.  That is always my primary goal.  After that, I believe we are called to take care of God's children.  Scripture further teaches us to take care of the widows and orphans.  The making of a snowman tree for Christmas, Mardi Gras, Valentine's Day, St. Patty's Day, and Easter are all part of making my Momma's world happier.  That brings to mind another saying.  "If Momma ain't happy.... ain't no body happy."  Do I hear an AMEN!
Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

Peaking at the Past

"I will meditate on Thy precepts, and have respect unto Thy ways."  That scripture is from Psalm 119, and it was part of a recent Sunday sermon at my church.  The following statement was made by Reverend Dolores, "Peek at the past to learn.  Praise in the present.  Focus on the future." 

This statement got my attention.  Peeking at the past is part of the life of caregiving for a loved one with dementia.  We help our people peek at the past with hope we can spark a memory.  Sometimes the plan works.  Other times, the plan fails.  There are even times it is a huge disaster.  But wait... sometimes it brings smiles.
Alzheimer's type dementia steals the most recent memories first.   The memories are lostin the opposite order in which they were gained.  In other words, an individual might forget their grandchildren before they forget their children.  They might forget their children next, and then the memory of their wedding may leave them.  What they never forget is their parents.
The memories of our parents are all over our brain.  Our parents and grandparents, as well as our older siblings, all came before us.  Therefore, those memories are prevalent throughout the brain.  No matter how far in the disease the individual may progress, there will most likely always be memories of Momma.  This would explain why a person may continually ask to "go home to Momma."
When working with your loved one with dementia, no matter the stage, peek at their past.  If they were a firefighter, ask questions relevant to their work.  Did they work in a factory or mill?  Ask what products they produced.  If they were a homemaker or pastor or waitress, or whatever, ask questions relevant and spark a conversation.  If this peek into their past does not bring about results, ask about high school, the prom, or graduation.  Ask what work Daddy did when they were growing up.  What was their most favorite meal that Momma prepared?  Keep peeking further into their past until you hit upon a topic they remember.
Our loved ones cannot "Focus on the future," as my pastor stated in her sermon, but we can help to bring them joy by "peeking into the past."  Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

Where Are My Boots?

I want you to look closely at this picture.  You will notice a pair of men's boots positioned along the curb of a road.  Would someone please explain how these boots landed there?  The road is a busy one in my town, and the boots appear to be in fairly good shape.  Of course when my sister saw them, she knew I should write a story about them.  The picture was taken, and here comes the story and how it relates to dementia.  After all, most EVERYTHING relates to dementia in some way.

"Momma, we need to get going early this morning for our eight o'clock appointment at the chiropractor.  It is time to get snapped, crackled and popped.  Will you get up and start dressing?  I will be at your apartment in about five minutes."  This conversation goes on every Tuesday and Thursday morning between myself and Momma.  Momma is living with mid-stage Alzheimer's, and she forgets lots of things.  Some mornings she will surprise me by actually getting up and starting the dressing process.  Other mornings she will frustrate me by remaining in bed until I arrive.  But every morning we will search for something.  "Carol Lynn (Momma uses both my names when she is irritated) where the devil are my shoes?"  THAT is a common morning question.  Fortunately for me, the answer is followed with something like, "What would I do without you?  You know I love you!"  Ahh.... It is all worth the effort.

I wish Momma always knew where her shoes or glasses or emergency pendant necklace were located.  I wish she could always remember to get up and start dressing for the day timely.  I wish she would never forget anything important.  I wish Momma did not have Alzheimer's, but she does.  She also has a family that loves her and is willing to search for the missing shoes.  I just hope I don't see them alongside the road one day!

Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

Sometimes, You've Just Got To Laugh

Our Names Were Larry, Moe, and Curly

She was signing herself in for a chiropractor's visit, and Sissy and I were with her. We all three see Dr. Benjamin at eight in the morning every Tuesday and Thursday. We spend the morning making Momma laugh with our silliness while we wait. However, the signing in procedure that morning was no laughing matter.While standing at the sign­-in sheet, Sissy said "Momma sign us all three in”.  Momma signed herself in and started signing our names. She wrote "Sissy", and then paused. She whispered to me as I stood beside her, "Carol, I can't remember her last name." She was disturbed by this lapse in her memory. Sissy and I both felt sick. 

 

Folks, if you have been reading my blogs, or read my book, or heard me present to groups, you would probably agree I have a fairly good handle on dementia, Alzheimer's and caregiving. However, on this particular morning, my knowledge, education and understanding of dementia did not keep me from being so very sad. 

I realized Momma had forgotten the last names of her children. This was not news that was easy to take, but at least I understood the "why" of the situation. Nonetheless, Sissy and I both felt really sad that morning. 

"That's OK, Momma. Just sign us in as Larry, Moe, and Curly," I said. I could have made a big deal of her memory loss, but that wouldn't have changed or helped the situation in any way. Laughing off the issue, and going on with the day as if nothing had happened, proved to be a good way to handle the sadness we all three felt. 

Life is full of challenges no matter what disabilities, illnesses, or challenges we face. It has been proven repeatedly that laughter is truly good medicine. When someone has dementia, laughter is essential. Momma is a happier person when we are silly. Honestly, there are times it makes us tired to be so very UP all the time, but having dementia is making HER tired, also. We will continue to do our part to make her life happy. You see, her smile brings tons of joy to our day.

Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

Sometimes, You've Just Got To Laugh

Creative Caregiving

Yes, that is a picture of a man atop a very high structure with an umbrella to protect him from the sun. I absolutely had to stop and take a picture. "There is a story in that picture," I thought, and I was correct. Here is the story.
Life is crazy, and sometimes you find yourself in situations that are not comfortable. I think the guy working on the metal structure for the new restaurant in town certainly found himself in an uncomfortable situation, and he found a way to deal with the sun in a creative way. I admire his ingenuity.

When dementia caregiving, there are innumerable opportunities to be creative in response to difficult or uncomfortable situations. In thinking of this, Mrs. Betty comes to mind. Recently we were having private music with her, and things went "crooked". Yes, crooked.
Mrs. Betty has very advanced dementia. She screams, yells, spits, and curses for no apparent reason. Food will often calm her agitation, but there are times when nothing brings her peace. On one particular day, Mrs. Betty was highly (and I do mean HIGHLY) agitated. When Sissy, my Director of Hospice Music, began to sing for her, Mrs. Betty seemed to calm a bit, so Sissy reached for her hand. That was when Mrs. Betty grabbed Sissy's little finger and pulled it opposite of the way God intended that figure to be. A crooked finger was the result. Sissy was in great pain, the staff reacted with much commotion (which actually made Mrs. Betty more agitated and upset), and the situation escalated out of control.
Fast forward two weeks, and it was time to visit Mrs. Betty again. Sissy and I were a bit anxious about the visit. Mrs. Betty was loud when we arrived, but she did not seem as agitated. We had decided to place noise canceling headphones on her as a test. Approaching quietly, and placing the headphones on her head, we played an easy piano version of "Jesus Loves Me". Mrs. Betty instantly became quiet and still. She closed her eyes, moved her head to the music, and obviously enjoyed the sound she was experiencing.
At one point the headphones became disconnected from the iPad, and Mrs. Betty, once again, became loud. Reconnecting quickly, the sound returned and Mrs. Betty said, "one, no maybe two". We suppose she was talking about the music, but we were positive she was enjoying the music.
Finding a creative solution to a difficult situation can be challenging, but thinking outside the box can bring about unexpected results. I hope your results bring as much comfort as the umbrella brought the man on the tall structure in the picture and the headphones brought Mrs. Betty. I also hope that gives you Something To Ponder.

Sometimes, You've Just Got To Laugh

Dementia and "What Do I Do With This?"

I was in the kitchen preparing a hot drink for Momma.  She had just entered the shower and was comfortably seated preparing to have her morning shower.  I was heating the water for her peppermint tea when I noticed the shower water had not started.  I thought this strange, but I waited a minute more.  Still no sound of running water, I returned to check on Momma.

 
Opening the shower curtain, I asked, "Momma is everything OK?"  She was looking at her hands with a questioning look.  She held two bars of soap and a bottle of liquid soap.  Her response made my entire being feel sick.  "What do I do with this?"  Her question startled me, but I remained calm.
"You know, Momma, you don't need these, but the liquid soap will work well with your bath scrungie," I said as I took away the bars of soap.  She then quickly remembered and said, " I swear, my brain leaves me sometimes. I know what I'm doing, now."

These moments of confusion are frightening for me, but they are also frightening for Momma.  Momma realizes what is going on in her brain, and that is why it is important I respond with a calm voice and a kind answer.  If I had raised my voice at Momma, or made her feel less of a person because she could not remember what to do in the shower, I would have only succeeded in making a bad situation worse.

Momma knows she has dementia.  She knows it is Alzheimer's type dementia.  She knows she is getting worse.  I want to do everything possible to make life good, relaxed, and as stress-free as possible.  A smile, a warm touch, and a calm demeanor go a long way in making life good for any person on the planet.  This is even more true when that person has dementia.

Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.