It was 2006 when Momma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s type dementia. The doctor, whom I refer to as “Dr. Wrong” (because I did not like him), called and announced Momma’s diagnosis over the phone. He then advised he would call in some medication, and I was instructed to call him if I needed anything. I was shocked in more ways than one.
I was shocked at Momma’s diagnosis. Grandma Carpenter had died of Alzheimer’s, and I was extremely frightened at what the future may hold for Momma. I was shocked, secondly, at this doctor’s method of delivering this news. It was so impersonal and very cold.
That was seven years ago, and this week Momma said, “I think my dementia is getting worse.” It was difficult to hear those words, but she is correct. She seems to be asking the same question more frequently, and her sense of being aware of the “what, when and where” of life has been less sharp. She is still my Momma. She still has all the love for my sisters and me that she ever had. She still wants to be a part of our lives. She enjoys her life.
The day may come when all that changes. I’m not ready for that day. What I know is this. With the help of those I love, the encouragement of other professionals, my Momma’s life will be the best life she can have. After all, isn’t that what we want for everyone we love? I hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
I would like for you to take a look at this picture? Does anything seem slightly wrong to you? It really makes me want to cringe. I am seriously thinking about writing Coca-Cola with my opinion.
I have a question. Since when did soft drinks become something “wholesome and healthy”? In my opinion, the delicious part is even in question, but I will concede there are those among us who enjoy their taste. But, really? Wholesome and healthy? NO WAY!
Now look at this next picture. That, my friends, is a wholesome and healthy food item. Notice all the raw ingredients. Notice how it is not covered in a ton of dairy products. The salad dressing is barely noticeable, and, yes, I ate the entire thing.
Take serious consideration to the foods that enter your body. Heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes all increase your chances of Alzheimer’s type dementia. Do you want to drink that calorie laden, full of sugar bottle of soda, or do you want to enrich your body and your mind with fresh food? Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
As you may know by now, I am a published author. I have just finished writing my fourth book, and it is due for release in late February. It is titled, Let’s Talk Dementia. I am excited to offer this easy to read caregiver’s guide to dementia. In its pages you will read practical advice regarding caring for someone with dementia, along with stories and jokes that will make you smile. After all, as I am known to say, “You’ve just got to laugh.” (Email me if you would like to reserve a copy – carol@seniorlifejourneys.com .)
Not everyone writes books, but writing can be very healing. One of the techniques many Hospice organizations recommend for grief recovery is journaling. My Mother went through such an experience when my Dad died. She wrote down exactly what she was thinking. It helped the healing process to move more quickly, and it documented for the future what Momma was experiencing. Quite honestly, reading her journal was very emotional for me.
My brother-in-law passed away on January 2nd of this year. I have recommended my sister journal her thoughts. I am making that same recommendation to you as you caregive for someone. Whether they have dementia, or not, caregiving is difficult. Writing your thoughts can help lessen the pain that surrounds those thoughts.
Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
I am sure you are not expecting me to suggest you drink plenty of anything except water. You, of course, are correct. I only drink water, an occasional cup of coffee, and an even less occasional glass of wine.
When I was expecting our daughter about 27 years ago, my obstetrician said, “I want you to go to the fawwwcet, turn it on and drink some waaaaaater.” And, yes, he said all those “w’s” and “a’s” . That saying has stuck with me. So much so that I don’t purchase bottled water except to replace the bottles I run through the dishwasher and refill.
Why should you be concerned about drinking a sufficient amount of water? If you are hydrating yourself with water instead of a sugary substance, your body will thank you. A recent study stated drinking five glass of water a day reduces the chances of a heart attack. Sufficient hydration helps aid in healthy skin. It gives you energy, and it can help prevent headaches. By the way, make sure you don’t substitute sugar-free drinks for sugary drinks. All those chemicals in the sugar substitute are not good for you. And, I ask you this question. Since Americans started using all the artificial sweeteners, have we gotten slimmer?
Anyway, be good to your body and drink water. Drink lots of it. Your body and your brain will be healthier. Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
Our morning was started with a not-so-pleasant phone call from an individual who was stressed. This stress was playing out in the form of anger toward my husband. One important fact to comprehend is my husband and I were about 400 miles away from this individual when the phone call came through. Nonetheless, it was our fault he was experiencing the emotions which were overtaking his mood.
This is a common scenario when you are caregiving for someone with dementia. No matter the reason for their frustration, you can become the target. Try not to take it personally. While this is certainly easier said than done, it is good advice. When your loved one vents their anger, emotional distress, frustration, or any unhappy emotion, they may be communicating something very important.
Notice whether this individual may be cold. Are they hungry? Are they thirsty? Have they soiled themselves? Lastly, and potentially most important, are they in pain? It is common for an individual who is experiencing disruptive behavior to be in pain. The most common form of pain is a urinary tract infection.
Be aware of the non-verbal cues your loved one gives you. Their actions speak loudly. Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
I have the distinct pleasure of directing seven senior citizen choirs. Most of the participants of these choirs have dementia. This can make things interesting, to say the least. Many of them have lost the ability to read, some are easily agitated, and some forget from week to week their involvement in the choir. However, they are my favorite people, and we have a great time together singing.
The next five days will be spent directing a Christmas performance with five various choirs. You might never guess my biggest challenge with these folks. Answer is --- getting them to smile. They are so intent about singing, they forget to smile. I am constantly reminding them to smile, “You are singing ‘Joy To The World’, but you are not smiling. Come on. SMILE!” They will then smile, and the smile lasts about 10 seconds. Then their heads are back down, concentration on singing has begun, and the process repeats itself.
I don’t mind reminding my singers of the need to smile. Because of the dementia many of them experience, they are not capable of remembering the need to read, sing, and smile all at the same time. It takes a great amount of brain activity to cause all this to happen at one time. I think it is more important they sing. If they smile, that is great. If they sing, they are causing their brain to release endorphins. This make them feel better. So, SING! If you can remember to smile, that is even better. Just don’t forget to SING. Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
I could write and give you all the details regarding the thousands of things I need to accomplish (and that is just during the next 24 hours), but I am sure you are swamped with packages to wrap, house cleaning to accomplish, menus to consider, and so on. So, I am doubtful you will feel too much sympathy for my plight.
Momma, on the other hand, is so very busy giving serious consideration as to whether she should crochet full-size afghans or baby afghans. Oh my, what a tough decision, indeed. Actually, I am proud of the afghans she makes. As you can see in the picture, I have one on my office chair, and I even use one as a table covering. However, I say with a sigh, there comes a time you just don’t need any more afghans. All the children, grandchildren, friends, and acquaintances are proud owners of one or more of her handmade creations.
This week I had the brilliant idea of contacting my church to see if they could help with distribution. Happy days are here again! They want all she can make. Oh man, they don’t know how quickly my Momma can whip up these things.
Anyway, Momma’s crocheting is so good for her. She enjoys keeping her hands busy (that becomes important in about the third stage of dementia), she likes to be creative, and she thrills to share her work with others. Momma’s budget is feeling the pinch of purchasing all this yarn, but the goodwill her afghans produce and the health benefits for Momma are priceless.
Way to go, Momma. Keep on stitching! Hope that gives you Something To Ponder.
