Sunday, April 29, 2012

Keeping Momma Happy

In my observations, most dementias fall into one of two categories.  There is “happy dementia” and “angry dementia”.  I am blessed and pleased that my Momma has happy dementia.  Dementia can be a difficult journey, so having happy dementia on my side is no small thing.  Momma questioned me this week as to why some people have the happy type while some people have the angry type.  My best explanation is rather crude, I suppose, but it gets the point across.  If the individual was a happy, laid back, easy to please person in their life, then you can expect dementia to amplify those traits.  If they were a driven, in charge, get things done, get out of my way type of person, then you can expect those traits to be amplified.  It is as if their personality is on steroids!  Of course, as is true with most of life, there are exceptions to every rule.  In Momma’s case, the rule holds true.  Momma was always easy going.  She certainly was accomplished in her field of sales, but she was not high strung.  She never minded if someone lended a helping hand, and she was always known as being a friendly person.  Today, Momma is extremely happy to be living in an assisted living where all her needs are met, and she is thrilled I pick up responsibility for the needs the assisted living is not responsible to handle.  She is known as a social butterfly still today, and she doesn’t mind being the center of attention.  All of these personality traits are working to her advantage, and I’m not complaining either.  However, I say with a sigh, because she is willing to let me handle everything, she is good at sitting back and letting me handle things she probably could handle if she desired.  Being the easy target I seem to be, I jump right in and take care of things for her.  What I know is this, I only have so much time with my Momma, and then her brain is going to change.  These changes will not make life more meaningful and pleasant.  These changes will make life more confusing and stressful.  Either way, the time I have now and the time I will have then, are and will be precious to me.  So, it comes down to this.  What Momma wants, Momma gets.  That’s just the way this story is written!

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